Not my favorite word, "No". I have never been big on being told what to do. In fact, I was a model student all the way through school...until 9th grade. I was always too shy to speak much in class but began to find myself, and my voice, by my freshman year. The first words I ever spoke against a teacher were as follows "Don't you ever tell me what to do". This didn't go over particularly well with him but, in fairness, he told me to "shutup" which didn't go over particularly well with me. My friend Ryan calls me "anti-establishment" which is probably a pretty fair assessment and yet we find ourselves in the home stretch of an adoption which requires nothing but obedience. And rules. And red tape. And, as we found out again today, plenty of the word "No".
We had applied for a matching grant from Lifesong for Orphans...and we were turned down for help. We can still fund raise with Lifesong but they really just open an account for you and people can donate through Lifesong to it so, in that way, it becomes tax deductible for the donor. I do not know yet if we will even bother with this as we already have a separate account open for our adoption funds.
At any rate, I am trying to keep my chin up but this day has been frustrating. My tooth hurts (which probably means I need to go to the dentist, an expense I would rather avoid at this point), we keep getting turned down by organizations that say they have "prayerfully considered" or "been led by the spirit" which makes us feel worse instead of better as the spirit didn't lead them to us. So maybe this keeping my chin up thing isn't going especially well today...sigh. I am just feeling decidedly human today. And decidedly frustrated. And my tooth hurts. And it is hailing outside. Oy.
But the good news is, God has brought us this far and he will help us finish the journey. Our paperwork is complete and the next step is finding out who our new children are! What a miracle to think that, even as I type this, our family is being knitted together across the ocean. One or two of the precious children that we have the privilege of praying for and seeing pictures of (and, oh my word, each one is more beautiful than the next!) has already been chosen to be in our family. Awesome.